Family Jokes

A child asked his father,"How were people born?
So his father said,'Adam and Eve made Babies,and so on."
The child then went to his mother,asked her the 
same question and she told him,"we were monkeys then
we evolved to become like we are now."The child 
Ran back to his father and said,"You lied to me!"His Father
replied,"No your mom  was talking about her side of the family.

Fun

Wife:"I look fat.Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband:"you have perfect eyesight.

Fun

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.The bus driver says,

"That the ugliest baby that i've ever seen.

Ugh!"The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down,fuming.

She says to a man next to her,"The driver just 

Insulted me!"The man says,"you go right up there and tell him off-go ahead,

i'll hold your monkey for you..

Fun

Little sally came home from school with a smile on her face,and told her mother,

"Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!

"Before the mother could raise a concern,Sally went on to say,"It reminded me of

a peanut."Relaxing with a hidden smile,sally's mom asked,"

Really small,was it?"sally replied,"No salty."Mom fainted....